Mom

Was raised in a household of respect.
Her Father loved her but did not own her.
Her Mother taught her all the things that she needed to survive.
She owned her soul and her body.

When she went away to college, she was a good student .
Flawless in organic and inorganic chemistry throughout.
She was brave enough to walk away when she did not like a situation.
She owned her soul and her body.
"Too serious , too picky "chirped student opinion.
"Too picky , too serious " the voice in her head echoed back.
"She will never get her MRS. THAT WAY..." warned the voice of the Future.

When my mother married, my grandfather told her all the way down the aisle,
" You DO NOT have to DO this. Walk away now.
. You will give your body and lose your soul."
She shook her head,the Empress train trailing behind.
Tears welling in her eyes, she turned to her father one last time .
" My Mother gave her body and did not lose her soul."
She brushed her hand against her father's weary face , kissed him once.
Then matriculated to her MRS.
Her father whispered from the pew " But he is NOT me. I thought that you were smarter."

When my mother lived her marriage, she began to see the flaws in my father's glamour.
That he was jealous that she could earn more.
That people liked her better than him.
And his mother said " Teach her to Obey. Only children are spoiled."
Yes, he thought, only children are spoiled.
He took a vial of poisonous worms from his coat.
Then he sat down to dinner.

He slid the first one into her salad as she brought him a cup of coffee.
She smiled and sat . The worm was unseen against the salad.
" You were too picky, too serious in school. You are lucky that he married you.
He is the man and you must not embarrass him by making too much money . by having too many friends. " She swallowed the worm whole, never tasting it.
Its toxin spread and she Believed.

On Sunday, they went to her parents' home.
My father slid the second worm into my mother's drink.
She picked up the crystal glass as her father gave a toast to her new life.
The ruby lipstick from her lips glazed the glass.
" A GOOD wife gives her husband children" insinuated the worm.
"The Bible said to go forth and multiply. You are a bad wife and he will leave you.
You are a bad woman and God will hate you."
Mother cried at the beauty of the toast and the whispers of the worm.
Its toxin spread and she BELIEVED.

Two daughters later, my father brought my mother a box of Rexall chocolate covered cherries, took her out to dinner and hired a sitter for my infant sister and me.
He slipped the third worm into the creme brulee dessert.
" A Good wife ," began the worm," gives her husband SONS to carry on his name. You are ungrateful for his efforts. You cry alone when he accuses you and the girls of being why he has no money. You should not cry but do your duty..."
Its toxin spread and she BELIEVED.

The ghost of the woman that my mother had been grabbed her by the shoulders one morning as she did the family laundry.
As the wringers squeezed the clothes to go on the line of the porch in a place
where her Father's occasional help would not have lived, the hands of the ghost
squeezed her head and mended her soul.
"Where is the woman that you set out to be?
Have I been gone so long that you do not remember me?
Tell me the spell by which you are held
I will cure you , all will be well."

" I am leaving you" Mother said, " The children and I. I will get a job. Or at least I intend to try."
We children from the room were rushed . The door was shut . The house was hushed.
My father sped out with the speed of light.
"We'll be back " whispered the worms . " We Will win this fight."

Two days later, back he came. Bended on knee , claiming to be ashamed.
He said he did not feel well and would she drive the car?
He was going to the doctor. It was not very far.
On that dark Thursday , my mother's ghost was exorcized.
The worms had won the day.
For three months my mother was away.

The babies to my Aunts went on my father's side.
I was left to live there to balm his sense of pride.
A neighbor teen came in every day
to watch me when my father was away.
My mother didn't come home- the doctors said not now.
I feared that she was changing but I did not know how.

They led the body home and it sat down in a chair.
I looked into her eyes . There was no one there.
" Bonjour Mama" My little voice intoned.
" I think I know you. Can you tell me if I'm home? "
You are home and I'm your first.
Where have you been?
Tell me the worst.

"The worst, my dear, is that I was once some one else.
Now I am waiting to be told who is myself.
I want to please my husband,
He had them drain me dry.
He's going to rebuild me - and I've forgotten how to cry."

I looked up from my homework.
And she asked me what it was.
I told her multiplication.
She asked me to teach her
Because it was gone.
So everyday before my father returned home,
I taught her back the things she'de lost
in his sad attack.

My best efforts were too small,
It was my mother's body
but not my Mom at all.

The other two returned home,
Which the worms whispered was good.
Because only children are spoiled.

They ran her day
They ran her night
They kept way too tired to fight.
She got too thin.
Too tired and frail.
She never left the house.
It had become her jail.

One afternoon soon after,
I came straight home from class.
And found my mother's body,
from her moisturizer picking glass.
My sister broke the bottle.
She feared my father's wrath.
He would not buy another.
I handed her my cash.
I dabbed the little cut place,
where she had missed a piece.
It was the one time that her ghost hugged me - and then it was released.

I am not my father's daughter though I have called him DAD.
For the things he did to Mother, I sometimes get so mad.
I've seen the worms, I have heard the worms.
" Too smart too picky, too picky too smart..."
And my Self says " SO?"
And rejoices as I drop the worms into the garbage disposal , one by one,
Run the water and flip the switch.